What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
