There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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