Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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