Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
