We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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