Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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