So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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