hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
