speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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