Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
