Hey man sorry I got all grabby
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
