Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
