So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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