I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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