Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize