I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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