I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think your dad took our porno
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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