There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
