If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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