I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
