Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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