So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
