One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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