After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
