I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
