I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
