I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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