So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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