I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
