my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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