Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
