I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize