I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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