she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I want to fling myself into the sun
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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