Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
