I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
