At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
