ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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