after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize