More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
