Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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