I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I have aggressive nipples.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
