maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm always down for nudity.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize