Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
