he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
