i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
