You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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