WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
