The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
