forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
