and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
As shirtless as possible
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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