It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
