Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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