She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize