I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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