so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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