I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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