My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
