but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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