I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
