TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
