You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
