just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
