Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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