This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
