Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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