He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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