a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
