nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
