the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
