We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
