planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
