they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
